The death of a friend, who died by suicide, prompted actress and writer Pixie Mahajan to start an Instagram page to address mental health issues and give people a platform to vent out their emotions, anonymously. In about two months since its inception, the page has 1547 members and gets about 50 DMs in a day to vent negative feelings arising from divorces, breakups, toxic relationships, mental health issues etc. “This platform is free for all,” shares Pixie, who started @ventoutyouremotions, adding, “While anonymity is maintained for all, there are also people who come forth and join the live sessions I conduct regularly with mental health experts and counsellors.”
Remember the critically-acclaimed short film, ‘Listener’, featuring Kumud Mishra, where the actor’s character was paid to listen to strangers sharing their frustrations and complaining about their day-to-day problems, without any reaction or judgement? The short film highlighted mental health issues, loneliness, human needs, insecurities, and how the growing lack of human interaction or patient listeners is impacting happiness. The pandemic has intensified this, leaving us craving for human interactions, friendships, and ‘vent buddies’, who can help us offload our worries.
What’s a vent buddy?
Dr Rajendra Singh Kunwar, psychologist and mental health researcher, says, “A vent buddy is a friend who you can share anything with, vent at, or complain about, without fearing judgement. They are your safety net.” Dr Kunwar says that everyone needs a vent buddy, especially in the pandemic. “You release your pent-up frustration and anger and feel calmer when you share. This, in turn, helps improve your emotional well-being,” he says.
Why venting out is helpful
People from all age groups have been talking about vent buddies extending their emotional support system. In his research, Paradoxical Strategies in Psychotherapy, Leon F. Seltzer, PhD, states – ‘Venting out your frustrations to someone relieves you of stress and tension’. Seema Iyer, a UI designer from Bengaluru, shares, “Swallowing my emotions had been taking a toll on my mood and happiness. Sharing work woes, parenting hassles, and downsides of a long-distance relationship with my vent buddy, who is also a mother, has helped me clear my mind of negative thoughts and focus on finding solutions as we both share a lot in common. I’m smiling more and there’s definitely less yelling!”
A thin line between venting and ranting
There is a thin line between venting and ranting and one must be aware of that. “Venting is about giving voice to your emotions and should never be about repeating the same stuff till it becomes difficult for your vent buddy to listen further,” says Chris D’Cruz, professional vent buddy and founder of a venting community on Instagram, adding, “While we are expected to be empathetic, empathy is also expected from those venting. Get the feelings off your chest, but do not scream or subject your anger to the one lending a patient ear.”
Finding a vent buddy online
Online venting platforms and apps have come to the rescue of those hesitating to find a vent buddy in real life, fearing judgement. Several Instagram pages are dedicated to this and offer the option of venting, without revealing your identity. Similarly, apps like Whisper, Secret Vent, Confess, VentBuddy etc let you share what is troubling you and offer neutral support. “Incessant Zoom calls and loneliness were troubling me during the lockdown. So, I chose to vent my emotions on an online platform called Vent. I have not only found an outlet but also made friends with similar emotions,” shares Nishant Nikam, a 30-year-old IT professional from Pune. Some of the topics that are trending on these platforms are are #stressmanagement #destress #balance #worklife #anxiety #peerpressure #relationships #family #behaviour.
“The death of my friend, who battled mental health problems, made me start this page to help people vent out their feelings and emotions,” says Pixie, who acted in ‘Ek Tera Sath’ and ‘Never Give Up’, adding, “Mental health issues are on a rise and one of the reasons is not having a support group or an avenue where one can express freely. In a country where therapy is expensive and inaccessbible, venting out platforms give people a support system without judgements and also connect them to counsellors when in need.”
Indian venting and mental health platform VentAllOut lets people vent out and express themselves in seven regional languages, besides English. “The platform is created to break the stigma around mental illness and open individuals in sharing their feelings. Platforms like these don’t only help in giving people an avenue to express themselves but also ward off loneliness in social isolation which saw a huge rise in the pandemic. The platform has also introduced the voice to text feature to give users the ease to vent their feelings better,” says Sumit Mittal, founder of VentAllOut. For every action on the platform, which also offers help from counsellors, users are rewarded points and awards.
How to choose a vent buddy?
- Vent buddies are not mental health experts, so don’t expect solutions from them
- Don’t rant. Select topics and issues that you think need immediate attention.
- ·Choose a person who is calm and patient by temperament
- Respect their time and set a routine for your talks
— As shared by Dr Kiran Jha-Dubey, psychologist and wellness coach, Pune
How to be a patient vent buddy
- Be a patient listener
- Don’t interrupt or interject the person speaking to you
- Privacy is imperative.
- Empathy is what your friend is looking for
- If required, help them reach out for psychological help
- If you are unable to visit in person, ensure you are available on call
- and text
- Set aside a time after work when you are available
Source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com
